Every Now and Again

It's just a lot easier to not look at you.
We're not talking and looking at you is strange.
I feel things inside of me and I'm tired.
I have emotions but I didn't when I couldn't look at you.
You want to speak but you want me to.
I'm not going to, give up.
I'm just too over it.
I'm 1/3 done and I'm already burnt out.
I've only known one person in my life.
I've only played songs for my room.
My family likes to dance but I like to observe.
We're alone again and it's hard not to look at you.
But it's even harder to face up to what I know.

We know.

We knew.

I know.
Every now and again I'll look to you, silent.
I'll want to feel the urges again.
But only when it's harmless and unseen.
It's a lot easier to not look at you.
And just put my head on your shoulder.
And breathe, in step, like soldiers.
Observing the battlefields of the night sky.

You understand.

I know you do.