To My Dearest Forsaken

Hi! Hey, uh, sorry I'm kind of jittery I've been thinking about this all day. I know, that defies the purpose but whatever. I'm just so excited. I miss you!

I'm sorry.

Okay, I didn't mean that. I'm glad you went. I hope things are good there though! I hope you found what you wanted. You always did seem to be looking for something...or maybe someone. Or maybe both...I just hope you realize that someone is looking for you right now too, or maybe something within you. God I can't stop shaking.

Things here are good, I've been writing a lot, you know, thinking about things. Do you ever think about us back here? I'm sorry that's uncalled for. Those lights are so bright, you'd never have time to shut your eyes.

I only see things clearly with my eyes closed, and so I will assume you are the same. But you miss out on so much of reality when things are clear, so I get it. I like those big glasses you wear.

I didn't mean to, if you were wondering. Write about you that is.

It just kind of happens a lot. I get all excited then it just kind of comes out. I bet some people wouldn't get it, but I know you do.

It's just...

How often do we get to talk right?

I know we communicate a lot, but it's usually roundabout. It's usually coded in a dialect only we know. It's usually though others who only used to think they understood.

How often do we get to talk like this, face to face?

I don't even know what to say anymore.

I want to tell you everything, I want to tell everyone everything.

But I'm starting to lose control, and I'm starting to be afraid again. Not like I was, that was aprehension, fear of the unknown. Now it's the fear of what's been done. Now I fear going on. I'm starting to think telling you everything is a bad idea.

You know I can't stop though.

We only meet here once, this space.

We both closed our eyes at the same time, and here we are.

I can see you clearly.
Please don't forget me out there.

Nobody here could be what I need when I don't need anyone.

I'm still writing about you...just not secretly anymore.

There's just no reason to be secret.

I'm only whispering now because I love to hear you breathe while I talk. I could be shouting my lungs out. We could be in space and I could shout.

I hope you feel the same way, or maybe will soon, or eventually.

You know the things I am thinking. You know my words best as I do.