An Astute Observation

So, I was having a conversation today.


Astounding I know.


I spaced out about half way through and pondered my recent(ish) use of sleep deprevation as a crutch to increase my writing capabilities. I was really pressed (by whom I know not) to get some good songs written, and despite my logic going down when I'm tired, my vocabulary and literary device use goes up substantially.


Sometimes I think that may have been a lie.


I got obsessive, and my daytime life suffered...not that I didn't pull it off. I mean of course I maintained honor roll grades and my friends probably didn't notice a thing, but of myself, I knew I was not there.


How different am I from people who use other, less socially acceptable, crutches that I proclaim to hate? I guess I caught on and stopped, so maybe that's the difference. But I still fell into a cycle without noticing, and then did notice and made excuses. I only stopped once I stopped being productive.


I hate those songs now too, for the record.


As I was typing out my lastest song snippit (thought of it yesterday and forgot to write it down) I realized much of my work revolves around sleep and dreams. Not wanting to sleep to be dead to the world, not an escape, but more of a relaxation, a transition into a new reality. I don't quite understand my own thematics yet, but I thought I should denote that for my own knowledge, and for others to examine my workings and ponder alongside me what it is I really mean by being asleep or dreaming.


The quote:

There's a young boy walking down an old street at 4 am

He just wants to get some sleep and I just want to be him

There's a bridal dress, there's a heap of regrets

And other disconnected things that will all surely pass.


Goodnight everyone.